Love Advice - Fell in love with an escort in Buenos Aires - Is it real love?

[Flamingo]

I'm very sorry about your loss. However, the relationship will NEVER work out. Shame on the girl. She is educated and still sunk so low to have to do that. There is no excuse and a woman must respect herself. You will never respect her and will always remember how you met her. If you want to help her that is nice but don't expect to find true love. No relationship can work out this way.

I believe this is very judgmental. No one can say if this will work out or not. @fool in love, I'm sorry for your loss. That couldn't have been easy. Just have fun with her and don't think about if this is "love". It's too soon for that.

 

[Jeb Spencer]

My favorite movie is Pretty Woman. It worked out for Julia Roberts. Maybe it will work out for your novia too.

Pretty Woman (1990) ⭐ 7.1 | Comedy, Romance

1h 59m | 12

www.imdb.com

 

[Sylvie]

I'm very sorry about your loss. However, the relationship will NEVER work out. Shame on the girl. She is educated and still sunk so low to have to do that. There is no excuse and a woman must respect herself. You will never respect her and will always remember how you met her. If you want to help her that is nice but don't expect to find true love. No relationship can work out this way.

NEVER judge anyone. I want to tell you a true story. My daughter is educated and I brought her up well. She has never wanted for anything. I have always helped her. We noticed that she always has the latest iPhone, nice clothes and takes trips. My husband and I found out she has a sugar daddy. We don't know the details but NEVER judge anyone. We were shocked but nothing we can do and she is an adult.

Good luck @fool in love. Your friend sounds like a lovely girl. Just proceed slowly.

 

[FuturoBA]

Another perspective is take yourself out of the equation. Same situation, but if it was your brother, best friend, or son, what would you tell him?? In your case we all want to root for you and your happiness esp after what's happened, but as the bearer of bad news, life doesn't always work out that way. I don't want to rain in too hard, but do you really believe she's only been escorting for 1 month and if you do or don't what makes you believe so?? Is it the way she acts or is it bc you want to believe her?

Not saying she's a bad person, or she doesn't have a reason for doing what she's doing. She may even enjoy your company and like you as a person, but it takes more than that to make and sustain a romantic connection. As been said here, proceed with caution.

 

[Wally]

Another perspective is take yourself out of the equation. Same situation, but if it was your brother, best friend, or son, what would you tell him?? In your case we all want to root for you and your happiness esp after what's happened, but as the bearer of bad news, life doesn't always work out that way. I don't want to rain in too hard, but do you really believe she's only been escorting for 1 month and if you do or don't what makes you believe so?? Is it the way she acts or is it bc you want to believe her?

Not saying she's a bad person, or she doesn't have a reason for doing what she's doing. She may even enjoy your company and like you as a person, but it takes more than that to make and sustain a romantic connection. As been said here, proceed with caution.

I agree. I have been with many women in my life including the occasional escort. I never was looking for love with this sort. But it's happened. But @FuturoBA makes a great point. The truth is that maybe she has only been doing it a month. The point is you will always wonder if what she is saying is true or not. You will always wonder if she is with you for you? Or your money. It will drive you crazy as you won't ever know. The first argument and you will be calling her a hooker. That's what happened to me.

 

[Che Vos]

NEVER judge anyone. I want to tell you a true story. My daughter is educated and I brought her up well. She has never wanted for anything. I have always helped her. We noticed that she always has the latest iPhone, nice clothes and takes trips. My husband and I found out she has a sugar daddy. We don't know the details but NEVER judge anyone. We were shocked but nothing we can do and she is an adult.

Good luck @fool in love. Your friend sounds like a lovely girl. Just proceed slowly.

Very interesting. Do guys really fall in love with prostitutes? I never thought this could happen in real life. It funny some weeks ago my friends thought I was escort because I accept a free expensive dinner. My own boyfriend ask me if I am doing things like this. How common is this thing? I never know friend that did it. How much the escort make in BA?

 

[fool in love]

First of all @fool in love, I'm deeply sorry about the loss of your wife. That is never easy. Recently I lost some dear friends as well as my mother died last year. I can't imagine what you are going through.

Thanks for having the courage to post on this forum and ask for advice. I've always believed that sometimes the best advice can come from complete strangers online. I agree with the others to take things slow. There is no rush at all to decide if this is love or not. I think it's wonderful that you are helping out your new friend. I believe that all relationships whether they are romantic or not have to start out with a friendship. I don't think it's any different in this situation with your new "novia". I don't think you have to put a label on things and don't rush to make her your girlfriend.

I admire that you are helping her out financially. Many times in my life I have helped people out. For no other reason to just be a good human being. You're doing that. Just always be honest with yourself and your relationship. Any good relationship needs good communication so I'd recommend you have good communication and just both of you always be honest with yourselves.

Don't let anyone try to tell you what IS or isn't possible. I think it's great that she never asked you for anything and refused to take money after you got to know her. It doesn't sound like she is asking for financial assistance. And a huge plus she is educated and has a job.

Take things slow. I think it's everyone is giving you good advice to see a therapist. I will send you a DM if you need a good recommendation for someone to talk to. I wish you the best of luck with your new friend.

Thank you so much @earlyretirement I sent you a PM if you don't mind answering. Thank you.

Ignore the haters. Go for it! You have nothing to lose. I've fallen in love many times. Although keep in mind I have been divorced 4 times! No joke. Each one was fun and I wouldn't have changed a thing! Go for it!

Thank you @Bill for giving me the encouragement. 4 times? No regrets? Ok, that gives me new perspective.

Tough call. I think you will always consider how you met. I did this same thing once in Brazil. BEST sex of my life but I never could forget how I met her. Good luck my friend.

True and I think that is the toughest thing just always remembering how we met. You mention sex and that is the ironic thing. In all of our dates we still have not had sex yet. We did mess around but no actual sex. We decided the first date we will pretend we didn't meet this way. I hope the sex is good but we connect on so many levels that aren't related to sex. I never paid her to have sex so I reason to myself I've never paid her for sex.

NEVER judge anyone. I want to tell you a true story. My daughter is educated and I brought her up well. She has never wanted for anything. I have always helped her. We noticed that she always has the latest iPhone, nice clothes and takes trips. My husband and I found out she has a sugar daddy. We don't know the details but NEVER judge anyone. We were shocked but nothing we can do and she is an adult.

Good luck @fool in love. Your friend sounds like a lovely girl. Just proceed slowly.

Thank you so much for sharing about your daughter. This sounds similar to my friend. She grew up in a good family and she is educated and her parents never knew. But they are very stretched thin as it is. I met her parents my last night in BA. Very kind people but they are just on hard times right now. They don't have any money to spare to help her. They wanted her to move back home to help them but she is reluctant to do that. But would have had to if I didn't help her. (again she never asked for any financial assistance - I offered).

Another perspective is take yourself out of the equation. Same situation, but if it was your brother, best friend, or son, what would you tell him?? In your case we all want to root for you and your happiness esp after what's happened, but as the bearer of bad news, life doesn't always work out that way. I don't want to rain in too hard, but do you really believe she's only been escorting for 1 month and if you do or don't what makes you believe so?? Is it the way she acts or is it bc you want to believe her?

Not saying she's a bad person, or she doesn't have a reason for doing what she's doing. She may even enjoy your company and like you as a person, but it takes more than that to make and sustain a romantic connection. As been said here, proceed with caution.

Good advice and I have done that @FuturoBA. If it was my brother or friend and they went through the same misery that I went through for the past few years dealing with my wife that was ill and they had a chance to find happiness I would strongly encourage them to do it.

Yes, she only do it for one month. She has a full time job. I met her work colleagues one night for a happy hour after work one day. Nice people. She doesn't have much time for this. She showed me her email application for the Area-VIP website and I could see it was only 1 month like she told me. That was my initial worry as well but everything adds up. And as I mentioned, she immediately took her ad down after our 2nd date. And I check daily and it's not back up. (I know you will say the fact I have to check daily is not a good sign). I would consider myself to be an intelligent guy and not a "sucker".

Very interesting. Do guys really fall in love with prostitutes? I never thought this could happen in real life. It funny some weeks ago my friends thought I was escort because I accept a free expensive dinner. My own boyfriend ask me if I am doing things like this. How common is this thing? I never know friend that did it. How much the escort make in BA?

In my case I have never done this sort of thing in my life. I was with my wife almost since high school. I have never been with anyone else. I'm NOT the type for something like this to happen to. But it did. I don't know how common it is but I would imagine the Pretty Woman scenario does occasionally come true.

Big thanks to ALL of you that took time out to give advice to this fool in love.

 

[earlyretirement]

Thank you so much @earlyretirement I sent you a PM if you don't mind answering. Thank you.


Thank you @Bill for giving me the encouragement. 4 times? No regrets? Ok, that gives me new perspective.

True and I think that is the toughest thing just always remembering how we met. You mention sex and that is the ironic thing. In all of our dates we still have not had sex yet. We did mess around but no actual sex. We decided the first date we will pretend we didn't meet this way. I hope the sex is good but we connect on so many levels that aren't related to sex. I never paid her to have sex so I reason to myself I've never paid her for sex.

Thank you so much for sharing about your daughter. This sounds similar to my friend. She grew up in a good family and she is educated and her parents never knew. But they are very stretched thin as it is. I met her parents my last night in BA. Very kind people but they are just on hard times right now. They don't have any money to spare to help her. They wanted her to move back home to help them but she is reluctant to do that. But would have had to if I didn't help her. (again she never asked for any financial assistance - I offered).


Good advice and I have done that @FuturoBA. If it was my brother or friend and they went through the same misery that I went through for the past few years dealing with my wife that was ill and they had a chance to find happiness I would strongly encourage them to do it.

Yes, she only do it for one month. She has a full time job. I met her work colleagues one night for a happy hour after work one day. Nice people. She doesn't have much time for this. She showed me her email application for the Area-VIP website and I could see it was only 1 month like she told me. That was my initial worry as well but everything adds up. And as I mentioned, she immediately took her ad down after our 2nd date. And I check daily and it's not back up. (I know you will say the fact I have to check daily is not a good sign). I would consider myself to be an intelligent guy and not a "sucker".


In my case I have never done this sort of thing in my life. I was with my wife almost since high school. I have never been with anyone else. I'm NOT the type for something like this to happen to. But it did. I don't know how common it is but I would imagine the Pretty Woman scenario does occasionally come true.

Big thanks to ALL of you that took time out to give advice to this fool in love.

@fool in love - I got your PM and responded. I'm happy to help out however I can.

Ignore the haters and honestly in the end, don't care what other people think. Sure, it's ok to get feedback but don't make this more complicated than it is. This is between the both of you who are consenting adults. You're not married anymore and you can do whatever you want. Your friend is just a normal girl. Even if people want to try to paint her in a different light. That's amazing she showed you the email to sign up. That tells you she is telling you the truth. But I don't even think how long she has been doing this is an issue. That should be a moot point too. I'm not sure I understand the difference if it's been a month or a year. Or whatever. It sounds like she has a full time job. She isn't some hardened pro it sounds like.

I still think you're vulnerable but great she isn't asking you for anything. You offered to help as you sound like a kind and decent human being.

I will tell you a story. I was in Buenos Aires after the corralito. I saw a lot of sad stories. I was going to this restaurant in Recoleta where I'd come a few times. Even if it was to have a drink I would say hello. There were these girls handing out flyers in front of the restaurants on Junin Street between Guido and Vicente Lopez. That pedestrian sidewalk where there are tons of restaurants like Clark's. She was a really nice girl. She had a normal job in an office but she lost it after the corralito. Every day I'd go have a drink and talk to her. I didn't have any romantic interest but would ask her questions about the economic situation. I was shocked that she had a college degree and was handing out flyers but it was one of the only jobs she could have found then.

I was going down to Buenos Aires every month. I think on my first month before I left, I gave her a few hundred dollars which was equal to her monthly salary. I didn't expect anything in return and again had no romantic relationship with her. Her name was Alejandra. By month #2 I got a PayPal debit card in her name. At the time you could get an authorized card to your PayPal account and get a card in any name. So I got one for her and I deposited about $400 USD per month in it. I think I did that for 6 months until she got on her feet and could get a new job.

I only write this to tell you that it IS ok to help people out. Even if you're not her "novio" it's ok to help her out. Think of things that way. In life, you can help out people that need a helping hand. And you can do it without judgement. Alejandra never asked me for any help. I just did it and I asked her when she got on her feet to do something unexpected and kind for someone else. I'd recommend you take the same attitude with your new friend. Don't look at it as you're paying her for anything. Kind of look at it as a good deed that you would do no matter what.

 

[sophos]

Well rounded answers all around. I know your pain @fool in love. I lost my wife to Cancer many years ago. Never remarried. I might have been in love once or twice since then. I'm not sure. No one can tell you what is right or wrong. Only you. Go slow and most importantly have fun.

I suggest you don't over think things. When she is in the US take time to get to know her and figure out what you want to find out about her. You have any kids? Her?

 

[Larry]

Thank you so much @earlyretirement I sent you a PM if you don't mind answering. Thank you.


Thank you @Bill for giving me the encouragement. 4 times? No regrets? Ok, that gives me new perspective.

True and I think that is the toughest thing just always remembering how we met. You mention sex and that is the ironic thing. In all of our dates we still have not had sex yet. We did mess around but no actual sex. We decided the first date we will pretend we didn't meet this way. I hope the sex is good but we connect on so many levels that aren't related to sex. I never paid her to have sex so I reason to myself I've never paid her for sex.

Thank you so much for sharing about your daughter. This sounds similar to my friend. She grew up in a good family and she is educated and her parents never knew. But they are very stretched thin as it is. I met her parents my last night in BA. Very kind people but they are just on hard times right now. They don't have any money to spare to help her. They wanted her to move back home to help them but she is reluctant to do that. But would have had to if I didn't help her. (again she never asked for any financial assistance - I offered).


Good advice and I have done that @FuturoBA. If it was my brother or friend and they went through the same misery that I went through for the past few years dealing with my wife that was ill and they had a chance to find happiness I would strongly encourage them to do it.

Yes, she only do it for one month. She has a full time job. I met her work colleagues one night for a happy hour after work one day. Nice people. She doesn't have much time for this. She showed me her email application for the Area-VIP website and I could see it was only 1 month like she told me. That was my initial worry as well but everything adds up. And as I mentioned, she immediately took her ad down after our 2nd date. And I check daily and it's not back up. (I know you will say the fact I have to check daily is not a good sign). I would consider myself to be an intelligent guy and not a "sucker".


In my case I have never done this sort of thing in my life. I was with my wife almost since high school. I have never been with anyone else. I'm NOT the type for something like this to happen to. But it did. I don't know how common it is but I would imagine the Pretty Woman scenario does occasionally come true.

Big thanks to ALL of you that took time out to give advice to this fool in love.

@fool in love,

I'm very sorry for your loss. Deepest condolences. My best advice is go slow. Happy new year.

 

[BuySellBA]

@fool in love,

We are very sorry for your loss. Take things slow and see where they go. Good luck.

 

[fetch rover]

@fool in love -- VERY sad about your spouse. Sorry to read that. Here is to a good 2024 for you and your new friend.

 

[Fingerless]

Sorry about your wife and condolences. I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through. Best advice I can say is proceed with caution. Two weeks isn't love, its infatuation, irregardless of how you met her. It's easy to act one way for a short time, see how she keeps it up. Don't know her situation nor if she was dealt a bad hand and she did what she felt she had to, but the most important thing is protect yourself first. Especially now as you sound to be in a very vulnerable spot. Good luck.

Sad to read about this. Listen to @FuturoBA about infatuation. Sometimes sadness rushes things. You were feeling such sadness with your wife's illness for so long that you maybe for the first time in years felt something different and it made you feel good. You also sound like the type that can't be alone. My brother is like this. When his wife died, he rushed into a relationship. The good news is he is still with her 15 years later. (But to my knowledge she wasn't a prostitute).

I think it's nice of you to help her out. If you're a lawyer you sound like you can afford it. Just protect your heart and go slow.

 

[fool in love]

Sad to read about this. Listen to @FuturoBA about infatuation. Sometimes sadness rushes things. You were feeling such sadness with your wife's illness for so long that you maybe for the first time in years felt something different and it made you feel good. You also sound like the type that can't be alone. My brother is like this. When his wife died, he rushed into a relationship. The good news is he is still with her 15 years later. (But to my knowledge she wasn't a prostitute).

I think it's nice of you to help her out. If you're a lawyer you sound like you can afford it. Just protect your heart and go slow.

I am truly blown away by all your kindness and generosity you have shown to me a true stranger. It is true that my heart might be vulnerable and you called it right that I am not the type that likes to be alone. I was with my wife since high school. It was very painful to lose her and it was a long struggle. I have a daughter in college and I told her that I met someone in Buenos Aires and she is very happy for me. Of course she doesn't know how we met but I am relieved that she supports my decision to date now.

I realize 2 weeks is not a lot of time. I will take things slow. She never asked me for any money. But before I left, I left in her apartment 12 X her monthly salary. I hid that for her and didn't tell her until I left BA. I didn't want her to feel like she had to stay in the relationship but she didn't want the money. I told her to pre-pay her rent for 12 months. I told her that was a gift no matter what. She never asked for that. She was shocked when she found it. She didn't want to accept it but I told her if she didn't want it to donate it to some charity.

She is just excited to visit me. I know this situation is strange but I am happy for the first time in many years. I feel like this happened for a reason and that I have a new lease on life. Thank you all again.

 

[fool in love]

@fool in love - I got your PM and responded. I'm happy to help out however I can.

Ignore the haters and honestly in the end, don't care what other people think. Sure, it's ok to get feedback but don't make this more complicated than it is. This is between the both of you who are consenting adults. You're not married anymore and you can do whatever you want. Your friend is just a normal girl. Even if people want to try to paint her in a different light. That's amazing she showed you the email to sign up. That tells you she is telling you the truth. But I don't even think how long she has been doing this is an issue. That should be a moot point too. I'm not sure I understand the difference if it's been a month or a year. Or whatever. It sounds like she has a full time job. She isn't some hardened pro it sounds like.

I still think you're vulnerable but great she isn't asking you for anything. You offered to help as you sound like a kind and decent human being.

I will tell you a story. I was in Buenos Aires after the corralito. I saw a lot of sad stories. I was going to this restaurant in Recoleta where I'd come a few times. Even if it was to have a drink I would say hello. There were these girls handing out flyers in front of the restaurants on Junin Street between Guido and Vicente Lopez. That pedestrian sidewalk where there are tons of restaurants like Clark's. She was a really nice girl. She had a normal job in an office but she lost it after the corralito. Every day I'd go have a drink and talk to her. I didn't have any romantic interest but would ask her questions about the economic situation. I was shocked that she had a college degree and was handing out flyers but it was one of the only jobs she could have found then.

I was going down to Buenos Aires every month. I think on my first month before I left, I gave her a few hundred dollars which was equal to her monthly salary. I didn't expect anything in return and again had no romantic relationship with her. Her name was Alejandra. By month #2 I got a PayPal debit card in her name. At the time you could get an authorized card to your PayPal account and get a card in any name. So I got one for her and I deposited about $400 USD per month in it. I think I did that for 6 months until she got on her feet and could get a new job.

I only write this to tell you that it IS ok to help people out. Even if you're not her "novio" it's ok to help her out. Think of things that way. In life, you can help out people that need a helping hand. And you can do it without judgement. Alejandra never asked me for any help. I just did it and I asked her when she got on her feet to do something unexpected and kind for someone else. I'd recommend you take the same attitude with your new friend. Don't look at it as you're paying her for anything. Kind of look at it as a good deed that you would do no matter what.

Thank you @earlyretirement for this post and your PM. Greatly appreciated.

You sound like my kind of people. That is exactly how I looked at it with her. A sort of scholarship. I do the same thing with intercity youth that can't afford to go to a nice school and help out. Or I donate to many charities where I don't know where the money is going and pray that it will go to a good cause. At least this way I know 100% it is going to help someone in need.

 

[Bobbie Burgers]

Remarkable thread! This is probably the best thread I have read so far on this forum! Sorry @fool in love about your wife. My initial thought is have fun my friend! Life is short. Just protect your heart. If you're a lawyer, you will have a sound mind. Just approach things from a logical perspective. I used to come to BA during the hey days of Madaho's, Blacks and all the other Clubs. So I have been there brother. Most of those clubs are closed down now but I heard it has all moved to the Internet.

I'm not saying this will happen but maybe check out other websites to see if your new girlfriend has signed up there. My attitude is trust but verify! Send me a DM if you'd like and I can share the websites. (Not that I use them as I'm happily married but I have a lot of single friends that come down).

 

[Larry]

I'm not saying this will happen but maybe check out other websites to see if your new girlfriend has signed up there. My attitude is trust but verify! Send me a DM if you'd like and I can share the websites. (Not that I use them as I'm happily married but I have a lot of single friends that come down).

😄😄😄😄😄

SURE. For your friends! Ha.

 

[GlasgowJohn]

Remarkable thread! This is probably the best thread I have read so far on this forum! Sorry @fool in love about your wife. My initial thought is have fun my friend! Life is short. Just protect your heart. If you're a lawyer, you will have a sound mind. Just approach things from a logical perspective. I used to come to BA during the hey days of Madaho's, Blacks and all the other Clubs. So I have been there brother. Most of those clubs are closed down now but I heard it has all moved to the Internet.

I'm not saying this will happen but maybe check out other websites to see if your new girlfriend has signed up there. My attitude is trust but verify! Send me a DM if you'd like and I can share the websites. (Not that I use them as I'm happily married but I have a lot of single friends that come down).

Oh my God. Blacks and Madahos--- I didn't realize there was such a wealth of knowledge on here!!!!!! 😉 😎😉

 

[Cardiac Arrest]

Oh my God. Blacks and Madahos--- I didn't realize there was such a wealth of knowledge on here!!!!!! 😉 😎😉

You gentlemen are making me relive my glory days! I didn't know if anyone remembered those establishments! I used to stay across the street at the Alvear Palace Hotel. What memories you all gave me!

Good idea about checking the online websites! @fool in love I have been in your position many times. And to be honest it's always ended up well if you know what I mean! Don't look to find the love of your life. Just enjoy the ride and have fun. You don't have to figure things out. There will be a discovery process and have fun!

 

[Billy Goat]

Oh my God. Blacks and Madahos--- I didn't realize there was such a wealth of knowledge on here!!!!!! 😉 😎😉

I guess we are all showing our age. I was more of a Ness and Catto's kind of guy!