This thread is really interesting. So many of you are veterans whose posts I remember reading wayyy back in my lurking days. I wish everyone the best of luck with their decision. I always felt a bit lucky in a sense that my boyfriend, though not from the same country as me, was not Argentine. I left, then he left very recently, five months later. We weren't married and don't have kids, but man, even for me, even as unhappy as I was in the end, it was a heartbreaking decision. Buenos Aires and Argentina will always have a place in my heart. That's probably why every time I think I've looked at this forum for the last time, I come back, just to see how things are going.
I went to a birthday party at a bar back home recently, and someone introduced me to a young woman who was about to move to Buenos Aires. I actually really dread these conversations, because while the last thing I want to do is rain on someone's parade, I am certainly realistic about what's going on in Argentina. She asked me why I left Buenos Aires, and despite her huge smile and bright eyes I very briefly gave her the four reasons I always give, in no particular order: The government, the economy, increasing crime, and not liking porteños as a group very much. (No offense to all of your spouses; I'm sure they're part of that group of exceptions that exists that I just didn't come in contact with enough. Also, nikad, you are so awesome.)
Her face fell a bit as I listed my reasons. Uh oh, I thought, She has an Argentine SO. Sure enough, she was moving down there to be with her fiancé, who incidentally was not porteño. It took every ounce of self control for my eyes not to bug out of my head. (The timing! So horrible!!) She had always found porteños to be warm and friendly, as you do when you meet your Argentine SO in the first few weeks of your first trip to Argentina. They have an apartment in Palermo. (Good, I thought, hopefully he's wealthy so he and his family can take care of you both when 2001 version 2.0 hits.) She didn't really have any job prospects. Her Spanish was okay. She had been reading the news; it was starting to make her nervous. When she asked me what she should take, I told her U.S. $10,000 in cash. "Seriously??" she replied. "Yes," I said. "I'm dead serious."
I had reached the point when I couldn't fake enthusiasm anymore, so I wished her the best. I couldn't help but wonder, what the hell is her fiancé thinking? But of course, there are so many Argentines who think, despite all of the problems, that Argentina is the greatest country in the world. I personally don't think I could move across the world to be with someone who wouldn't be willing, one day, to maybe to the same. I wondered if she'd discussed anything along those lines with her fiancé. I didn't say anything, though. She was a stranger, after all. It didn't feel right.
A note to allcraz-- An American friend married a porteño who is now living with her in Houston. He absolutely loves the city and the people and has no desire to go back to Argentina other than to visit, ever. He actually found a job months before she did, in IT. He was in his late 20s, spoke pretty good English, and has always loved traveling and learning about the world. But I think even he was surprised to love it as much as he did, right off the bat. His porteño family fell in love with it too, when they came to the U.S. the first time for the wedding. Now, he hadn't been dead set on living in Argentina the rest of his life before meeting my friend, but I though you might like to read that positive example anyway. Don't forget, there are plenty of Argentine immigrants in Texas. I run into them all the time. They have a consulate in Houston for a reason.
Diego, I liked your post. Particularly where you said "I personally don't think I could move across the world to be with someone who wouldn't be willing, one day, to maybe to the same."
Allcraz, I was thinking almost exactly the same thing when I read your original post, I just didn't know if I should say it - I didn't want to offend anyone and this concept could be a little difficult to not take in an offensive manner if the writer isn't careful. I've had my moments where I didn't mean to offend someone and yet it came to that anyway. Don'tMindMe said it very well though.
Someone else had mentioned that just because you guys move there, it doesn't mean that you can't move back if things get too tough in whatever fashion.
I think Texas in particular, and Austin as the destination, is a great idea. In fact, it is exactly where I would move with my Paraguayan wife if we went to live in the States. Houston is not bad (I lived there for 30+ years!) but it's flat, hot, and humid (and worse than Buenos Aires for mosquitoes) and the culture is a little different (I'm not even sure I know how to explain it - politically correct in a Texas kind of way that Austin isn't, to me). Houston certainly has a lot of cultural things going on, all over, but there's something about Austin that's very special.
But back to him versus you - you came down here, away from your family and stayed with him - I shouldn't think it would be a great stretch for him to do the reverse. It's easy to say that, I know, but I'd think he'd be willing to try, and with the friendliness that mostly emanates from people in Texas, he should adjust on that account pretty quickly.
The job may be something else, but at least Texas has a good economy and I'd bet there would be opportunities. While he's looking and figuring out what he can do, he can improve his English and be ready to hit the ground running.
If you can afford the time and effort to get him a spouse visa, I'd say go for it.
As far as how some of us are feeling about leaving Argentina (BA in particular) - I'm caught in a similar web of uncertainty myself. Although I don't have young children here, my wife and I are responsible for a 16 year old (her sister) directly and her other brothers, sisters and cousins who live here indirectly. They would be lost without her as the anchor to keep them in line and happy.
My sister-in-law will graduate high school next year and we've already begun making the payments on her graduation trip with the school. She'd have to start all over in a new school, leave her friends, have to make new ones (although they would be Paraguayan and her case much easier to make friends with than she has found here) and all the adjustments that make things even more difficult for a teenager.
My wife and I both have friends of many nationalities (including Argentinos) here and we would as well have to start all over.
At the end of last year, it was pretty certain we were going to leave. Now, the Blue Dollar has allowed us to save enough money every month that costs feel more like 2008 prices to us than what locals are feeling. The biggest issues we have are twofold: 1) The government - are things going to get hairy here in terms of tyranny, or is the economy going to collapse quickly, or is it going to be a long drawn-out nightmarish process and 2) crime.
Crime has not affected me personally, but every other member of my family has been robbed, all but one more than once, and a couple at both gunpoint and knife point. However, I'm not sure that Paraguay would be much better in that regard - although we've never been robbed there (well, we haven't lived there either).
But the government concerns me here. People seem very naive at times - "ah, that will never happen again," "you're being paranoid - Argentina goes through these cycles and it's all going to get better, don't worry" etc, etc. Well, how many people get caught by surprise by things they didn't think could happen?
It's a tough, tough decision for many of us as to whether to stay or go. One my wife and I haven't finished making yet.
